Pass the testosterone please….

by Jotter girl on January 14, 2012


Our house will be bursting at the seams with testosterone, chips and soda while my boys and I watch football this evening.  In truth, I only know that it’s a playoff game because of the picture I have downloaded for this post.  Lucky for me the team logos on the helmets were easy for me to figure out who is playing.  The New England Patriots vs The Something or Other Broncos.

Had I seen these helmets instead, I would have no idea…..

 The Arizona Angry Birds? VS

The Cleveland Orange Heads?

I can understand why I should have guessed better with the Arizona Cardinals helmet but as for The Cleveland Browns, all I can say is that they might want to be a little less confusing with their helmet color choice.  I would have gone with Brown, but that’s just a suggestion.

So with all this pregame information gathering, I should look pretty cool in front of my boys tonight.  I’ve also made up some rules for myself to follow so they think my head is in the game.

1)  Bite lip when wanting to make comments on which teams shirts are nicer

2)  Slam fist into couch when ball is dropped

3) Do rehearsed touchdown dance when needed (remember it is to the count of the Cha Cha Cha)

4) Talk with mouth full of potato chips when discussing plays

5) Don’t roll eyes when the cheerleaders come on

6) Don’t call any players cute

7) Don’t refer to any player as the poor baby who got hurt

8 ) When leaving the room to get more chips, tuck a throw pillow under arm and run into the kitchen yelling “I’m going for a first down!”

Yes, it’s going to be pretty manly over at my place tonight.  I just hope I can keep up, especially since my testosterone levels are dropping as I creep towards menopause.   My old friend testosterone who used to be here to help convert my calories into muscle has packed his bag and left me with an expanding soft waistline.

I’m kind of hoping my kids are rooting for different teams tonight – which means I’ll have to sit between them on the couch.  Without a doubt, the competition should increase their levels of testosterone during the game.  Hopefully while they are screaming “GO TEAM GO” at the TV, some of that testosterone will escape via their lungs and become airborne*.  All I need is to take in some deep breaths and maybe, just maybe, I’ll wake up with a little less mid section blubber in the morning.

Go Team Go!


*I am aware that I wont really be breathing in svelteness tonight….but a girl can dream.

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