Stop changing your underwear. An open letter to Jockey.

by Jotter girl on February 15, 2014

image_print

Dear Jockey,

When writing about underpants, one needs to walk a fine line where one tiny step can turn into too much information.  Hence, I am writing this with great care.  However, I should caution you, if you are a man you may not be able to relate.

You seem to be in cahoots with Lancôme and Wacoal to make my life more difficult.  It’s dreadfully hard work searching out the perfect undies, lip color and bra.  There have been times that I’ve been successful only to go back to replenish my supply and find out that my favorites are no longer available.  I can give Lancôme a pass for needing to keep up with color trends and improving formulas.  I’m even willing to forgive Wacoal since finding ways to improve the bra is a noble endeavor.  However, when it comes to underpants, undies, drawers, bloomers, skivvies or briefs, I am having a hard time looking the other way.

A great deal of effort goes into finding the just right pair of underwear.  I’m no fool, so generally I will buy 10 pairs of something I like.  Typically, about a year later, I will venture to the store in search of a new supply, only to find that there is a whole new crop of undies to choose from.

grocery baggranny undiesThe only constant I ever see in this

department are those large shaped

bloomers which look they could double

as plastic grocery store bags.

These do not interest me.

 In your defense, I imagine one of the worst creative jobs in the world is being an underpants designer.  The actual design of two leg holes and a waistband is completely limiting.  No need for darts, zippers, hems or pockets.  I can truly sympathize with the designer, sitting with their sketch pad and having little to no inspiration, but honestly there is no need to reinvent the wheel.  When I open my underwear drawer, I want to pick up a pair and know exactly how to put them on without needing a schematic diagram.  If I can’t figure out which opening is the leg hole, we have a problem.

As a suggestion, perhaps you might take a lesson from Levi’s and translate it to your underwear.  If I go to the Levi’s store and buy a pair of 501 jeans, I know that I can go back a year later and get the exact same pair of pants.  I would love it if Jockey could use a similar numbering system.  I would only recommend that you skip numbers 1 and 2…. because, well you know.

Here is how I envision the Jockey 52.  Soft cotton fabric with a simple, two leg hole and waist band design.  Decent coverage, as the intent of underwear, in my opinion, is to be a barrier between the roughness of pants and the skin. Waistband about an inch below the navel and colors that won’t startle me while in the ladies room.  Please note that there is no use of the words lace, bikini or string in my description.  Whoever gave women the idea that wearing something uncomfortable, albeit sexy, underneath their clothing will make them feel good about themselves obviously never wore an itchy lace thong.  I admit to falling prey to this scheme in the past but spent more time thinking about how to remove a wedgie in a lady-like sort of way, than being sexy.

While I am sure there are millions of women out there who will defend the thong, my underwear nemesis, I can only speak for myself and hope that there are others who feel the same way. I’m not one for making threats but do not for a minute think that I won’t move on to another underwear maker. I stopped shopping for underwear over at Victoria’s Secret a few years ago because I was getting tired of sorting through piles of underwear looking for ones without cute little messages on them.  Unless you are going to put my shopping list on my underwear, keep them message free.

I would be ever so grateful if the next time I visited the underwear department, I would see a rack of Jockey 52.

Sincerely,

signaturemedium

 

 

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Audrey Howitt February 15, 2014 at 2:20 pm

So true! I just want to feel good and not be startled by my underwear!

Reply

Jotter girl February 16, 2014 at 8:08 pm

Hey Audrey, nice of you to stop by. I couldn’t agree more, it’s all about comfort.

Reply

Jo-Anne February 15, 2014 at 7:27 pm

You know what I hate, when you buy nice underwear and wear it once and it starts to fall apart at the seams, you return it for an exchange only to be told “no can do” it’s been worn………what the hell. Also for some of the prices of underwear you could buy a heap of groceries, just saying.

Reply

Jotter girl February 16, 2014 at 8:09 pm

So true about the expense of undies these days. I will clarify though that if they ever make the Jockey 52, I’d pay just about anything. :)

Reply

Cathy February 16, 2014 at 7:55 pm

Perfect !!!!!
I literally threw all of my “New” ones away today !!!
I bought Jockey (for the first time) a few weeks ago without a thought of what they would ACTUALLY look like when I unpackaged them. Holy COW… which they may be too big on… Im back to VS.

Reply

Jotter girl February 16, 2014 at 8:11 pm

All we want is some nice comfortable underwear that once it’s on, we don’t need to mess with. Let me know what the current messages on the undies over at VS are maybe I need to go back. :)

Reply

Criss February 17, 2014 at 3:41 am

Have you ever tried wearing men’s jocks? I first tried when heavily pregnant with my youngest , my nikkers just didn’t stay put, and I was ruining the elastic. My hubby’s jocks where amazing. Perfect bum coverage, no creeping. They just fit. And they last longer than girly nikkers. So now I save my girl panties for special occasions, and buy men’s briefs, for everyday wear. They are cheaper too! ;)

Reply

Jotter girl February 17, 2014 at 9:47 am

Criss, you might just be a genius. I think I’m going to try this out!

Reply

Criss February 17, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Definitely do………….. I converted my girlfriend, and she went shopping with her hubby and bought herself some. He was laughing his head off. My hubby got so sick of me stealing his, he bought me my own 5 day pack. A few months ago I was feeling more girly and bought myself a pretty pink patterned pack of women’s nikkers, and now 3 have ripped elastic around the leg holes, and they just do not stay put. yet the jocks hubby bought me 4 years ago are still going! Go figure! ;)

Reply

Mynx February 19, 2014 at 5:45 am

Thongs are evil. I completely agree.
Comfy undies are terribly hard to find and once you do you pray you will be able to find more when you need them.
I really hope Jockey agrees to your request and brings in a standard

Reply

Jotter girl February 19, 2014 at 2:04 pm

Hello there my artist friend, thanks for stopping by. I’ll keep you posted on the Jockey request. :)

Reply

Twitter Flirt March 5, 2014 at 11:11 pm

I know none of the people who frequent this site frequently, but I do know those who do had the same level of respect and admiration for Catherine that I did.

I’m writing in the past tense because Catherine — my dear Catherine, a woman I adored more than she realized — was killed tragically this afternoon in a freakish accident. The world lost a lovely, beautiful, unassuming woman, one too good for me and almost every man whose heart thumped heavily when she offered him a part of him.

I am heartbroken. I am sure many of you feel the same. I just wanted to make sure you all know that her voice didn’t go silent by choice, but by a rotten, filthy twist of fate that will make me wonder why her and not me or any of the other 8 billion people on this planet whose absence would mean less to this world than hers.

Keep Catherine in your thoughts. Her sons as well. And comfort yourselves, because we lost a woman of amazing talents and beauty.

Reply

Criss March 6, 2014 at 3:27 am

The world is truly a sadder place today. My heart goes out to her boys, and to those who were lucky to be called her friends.

I will miss her beautiful stories, her witty charm, and lovely comments.

I agree, as many would who followed her blog, “we lost a woman of amazing talents and beauty.”

My thoughts and prayers are with you all now.

I am so sorry that this as happened.

Sometimes life makes no sense at all.

Reply

Lee Romano Sequeira March 6, 2014 at 6:01 pm

I am shocked and very saddened by the news as well (I found out first thing this morning on Facebook). Catherine was a witty, wise and talented woman, and she will be missed greatly.

May she rest in peace.

xoxo

Love to all,
*´¨)
¸.· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·’*~ Lee*

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post: