Dear 5^th Grade Students,

Lucky us!  You, for getting Mrs. N. as your teacher this year and me, for being invited back for a 3^rd year to speak to her class about being a writer.   Our mission together was to write a 30 Second Story which would be featured on my blog Jotter Girl.  We discussed the photo prompt briefly and then each of you contributed a line to the story while I took notes as fast as I could.  With all the creativity that flowed, the 30 seconds wound up being about 78 seconds.  To the best of my recollection, here is the story we put together.

Bardsīr It was a sunny day at Yellowstone Park when Abby Lee Miller, who was eating her lunch, saw a bear outside her car window.  Suddenly, he stood up and shouted that he wanted her taco.  Abby screamed so hard that her eyes popped out of her head.  Luckily the bear saw a squirrel and was distracted so Abby could quickly lock the door.  The bear called out, “I am Sir Grand Poobah” and began to chase the squirrel.  He yelled back over his shoulder, “Lady, I don’t want your taco anymore, I’ve got something better to eat!”

http://thmiii.com/viewpoints/22  The bear and squirrel ran around and around until they ended up on the roof of the car, where they began to dance the Tango.  Bear said, “Come to me Honey Boo Boo!”, which made the squirrel scream and run for her life.  Poor squirrel wasn’t watching where she was going and ran right into a fire pole.  Honey Boo Boo was knocked out immediately.

 Meanwhile, hoping to get away, Abby put the car in reverse and it began to roll down the hill.  The bear followed the car because he was interested in the clothes hanging in the back seat.  He jumped through the window and grabbed the neatly wrapped dry cleaning.  Not knowing what to do, Abby took off her socks and put them in the bear’s mouth.  Bear removed the socks and said, “I have a wedding to go to, all I want are clothes, dude.”  Abby fainted momentarily and when she awoke, she saw the bear dressed in a tuxedo doing a dance called the Dougie.  Bear had learned to do the Dougie by watching YouTube and was ready to teach his new friend Abby.

 In the end, Abby fell madly in love with the bear and they drove off together to have a fun evening at the wedding where they did the Dougie and the Tango all night.

The end.

My goal today was to get you excited about writing.  Based on all the giggles and raised hands, I think everyone had fun participating.   Keep up the good work, let your imaginations run wild, but most of all, write it down!  I must go now, my dog Ivy wants me to teach her the Dougie.  If you want to learn how to Dougie, click the link and cast members from Glee will teach you.  Go on Mrs. N., click the link.

Do the Dougie

Just before the holidays, I posted an open letter to MORE telling them that my Christmas wish was to write a recurring feature for their magazine.  On Christmas morning, I pushed past my kids and ran downstairs to the tree, eager to see what Santa brought. I was hoping to find a beautifully wrapped box with a big red bow holding an invitation from MORE asking me to write for them.  Well, that’s not exactly how it went….

In my home, where it is just me and my 2 tween boys, I am Santa Claus.  Or at least I was up until last year when my children found out the truth on the school bus and the jig was up.  I have to admit that I was a little relieved this Christmas when I didn’t have to go out and buy a whole bunch of gifts for myself from Santa Claus.  Ever since my boys were young, they would say things like, “Mommy, you are soooo good that Santa will bring you lots and lots of goodies.”   In an effort to keep up the ruse, I would buy myself gifts and hide them along with my children’s packages.  Surely if I didn’t get anything, the boys might begin to think that Mommy wasn’t so good after all and I really didn’t need them having something to hold over my head for the coming year.

This year, the boys weren’t ready for things to change and still wanted me to “play” Santa Claus.  I agreed but advised them that “Santa” was now just for the kids.  So, I ordered myself a book and nothing more.  No stocking stuffers, no array of gifts to me under the tree.  I was looking forward to less wrapping, less dragging all those gifts up from their secret hiding places in the basement and getting to bed earlier on Christmas eve.   Then I had a change of heart when sadly, on December 23^rd, I received notification that the book was on back order and would not arrive until January.  There would be nothing for me under the tree for the first time in 50 years.  This got me thinking about Christmas wishes which in turn prompted me to write the post to MORE letting them know my wish.

Here we are in January, Christmas is all but put away and I am still waiting for my book.  Having forgotten about my open letter, I was startled this morning when my email inbox had a message from Santa MORE with the subject line:  Your wish, fulfilled

Along with a friendly note inviting me to pitch a blog post for their More.com website, they sent me this….

The people at MORE have a great sense of humor and I’m glad that they decided to use this photo and not one from my subsequent post where I am wearing fake mustaches.  You can bet that I will write and submit a piece for their Blogger of the Moment spot – with hopes that someday you’ll be able to come and read me over there.

Thank you MORE!

Photo credit: k*sco studios

Mock up MORE cover design:  MORE Magazine

Dear 5th grade students,

It was an absolute pleasure spending time with you this week discussing what it is like to be a writer.  Your enthusiasm and creativity blew me away.  As I mentioned, I have a running feature here at Jotter Girl called 30 Second Stories where I take an old photograph that I find at the black flea market and write a humorous story that can be read in about 30 seconds.  It was so much fun to have all of  you take turns coming up with the next line in the story for my latest photo.  In your case, my 30 Second Story, turned into a 60 Second Story. To the best of my recollection here is the story we put together.

 Mary stood on the boat, holding tight to her purse.  There was a bread stick that had come alive in the dining hall and was coming after her.   She was a bit frightened and she jumped off the ship….wait, no she didn’t.  It was all very creepy when the  Zombies came after her but thankfully she was wearing her heat resistant coat.  There was also a grave yard on the top of the boat where ghosts were hanging out.  Then someone yelled out “Dance Party!” and they all went to dance.  A meatball fits into the story somewhere, but Mary cannot remember because there were too many 5th children circling her and shouting out ideas.  She was lucky enough to have a video recorder tucked inside her hat so she could look at the movie later when she was safe in her cabin.  Actually, she couldn’t wait to take off her hat because her bald head was very itchy.  What the children didn’t realize was that Mary had her writers notebook underneath her arm and she would write this whole big episode into a science fiction, horror, fantasy, action story for her next cook book titled,

Meatballs and Bread sticks.

__________________

I was quite surprised after school today when one of you young writers appeared at my door with an envelope full of thank you notes, each one neatly written.

I am so glad that you all enjoyed our meeting and I truly hope I have helped inspire you to write.  Don’t forget, be free with your ideas and use your writer’s eye to tell a more interesting tale.  I am certain that your heads are filled with many stories just waiting to jump out onto paper.  Happy writing!

Dear parents of the class of 2018,

It was my very great pleasure to come to your children’s 5th grade class this morning to discuss what it is like to be a writer.  The room became electrified with excitement as I sat amongst your kids who were eager to share their writing experiences.  I was impressed by the questions, questions and more questions!   You should have seen their enthusiasm as we formulated our own story, each taking turns to come up with the next line about the “time bomb” in my handbag.  Never fear, our story ended on a positive note due to some very clever contributions from the class.  I am still smiling about it now 3 hours later.

Your children want to write and they are excited about it.

They want to be free to write without criticism or correction.  I heard words today that I didn’t quite expect from 5th graders.

feelings, emotion, poetry, comedy, fantasy…oh yes and time bomb (about 10 times)

Your children want to express themselves through writing.  Invest in them.  Buy them a jotter, a notebook that is theirs and theirs alone where they can dream, create, and experience the wonder of writing.

Something to note…. I read this week that Rutgers University recently paid Snooki $35,000.00 for a speaking engagement. Its doubtful that she was there to discuss the importance of writing, but more likely looking to inspire the tanning bed users of tomorrow with her orange glow.  In my opinion, this is a sad reflection on our society that we put such value on reality TV stars.

While Mumbldyhumf Elementary School did not pay me $35K for my speaking engagement….

I had an experience which was priceless.

Seems like an odd topic for a second post doesn’t it?

Surely you must be thinking that Jotter Girl should have her writers card revoked since she can’t think of something to write this early in the game.  Perhaps true, but it’s not exactly my fault.  My brain is working fine but I have been experiencing a six week run of writers block which I cannot control.

The blockers include but are not limited to:

Two children alternating being sick

One dog getting in on the action with a belly ache

Several snow days equaling my nervous breakdown no school

More that a couple of 2 hour delays at school – thanks to 3 snowflakes

Seven cavities and a crown (split between two mouths)

Eating everything that isn’t nailed down (this is me, not my boys)

The blockers have kept me in the house, under the weather and so busy licking the Cheese Doodle residue from my fingers, that I have barely had a minute to jot down an idea.  I did however get a chance to google “Overcoming Writer’s Block”. Funny, it said nothing about leaving my kids home for a week while I go to a “facility” for my Cheese Doodle “dependence” in a nice sunny destination.  Google Schmoogle.