I cringe every time I see this photograph of Angelina Jolie at the 2012 Oscars.

http://servuclean.com/up Did she learn nothing from me????

For those of you who don’t know, I invented this pose back in 1966 and have used it successfully for the last 46 years.  Several months ago, I was hired by Angelina and spent many long hours perfecting the look for her big red carpet moment at the Oscars.

   Let’s just say, she wasn’t a quick study.

 It seems that even Brad knows which was a better Photo Op.   Can you blame him?

While I would love to take full credit for this post, I must thank my friend Joey for the inspiration.  I posted this photo (sans Brad) as my profile picture on Facebook and it was his funny comment, “Brad Pitt’s wife Just tried this pose at the Oscars and it pales in comparison” that gave me the idea.  Thanks Joey and Happy Birthday today!!!!

Feeling a little “dissed” by this week’s cover of Time, I decided to send my opinion to the Editor and thought it was worth sharing here.

Dear Editor,
Your cover was a total bait and switch scenario with both the title and image being misleading.  The actual article, which was very good, had little to do with being shy. It’s just a guess that a cover with the title, “The power being an introvert”, with an image of a regular person might not have appealed to as many buyers on newsstands.

I’m doubtful that many of my extroverted friends are reading this article (because they are too busy talking) so what you have done with the misleading cover, is reinforce that all of us introverts are shy.  While the introvert community is reading your piece and nodding along, the rest of the world may have missed a really great article because they see the word shy and think this is old news.

Jotter Girl

_________________

Beyond the cover, the article was great and defined so many of the positive aspects of being an introvert.  They even included a little quiz to see if you are an innie or an outie.  While I already know I am an introvert, I took the quiz anyway and wasn’t all too surprised when I answered 17 of the 19 questions with a very clear YES.   I think had they included a quiz to see if I am shy or not, I probably would have scored 17 of 19 questions with a NO.   Introverts are not necessarily shy, just ask me.

P.S.   This post was written from the bathroom at a huge party with tons of guests, which proves that I’m and introvert.  When a guest knocked on the door, I yelled “Take a hike, I’m very busy in here!” which proves that I am not shy.

Our house will be bursting at the seams with testosterone, chips and soda while my boys and I watch football this evening.  In truth, I only know that it’s a playoff game because of the picture I have downloaded for this post.  Lucky for me the team logos on the helmets were easy for me to figure out who is playing.  The New England Patriots vs The Something or Other Broncos.

Had I seen these helmets instead, I would have no idea…..

 The Arizona Angry Birds?

buy Lyrica cheap VS

The Cleveland Orange Heads?

I can understand why I should have guessed better with the Arizona Cardinals helmet but as for The Cleveland Browns, all I can say is that they might want to be a little less confusing with their helmet color choice.  I would have gone with Brown, but that’s just a suggestion.

So with all this pregame information gathering, I should look pretty cool in front of my boys tonight.  I’ve also made up some rules for myself to follow so they think my head is in the game.

1)  Bite lip when wanting to make comments on which teams shirts are nicer

2)  Slam fist into couch when ball is dropped

3) Do rehearsed touchdown dance when needed (remember it is to the count of the Cha Cha Cha)

4) Talk with mouth full of potato chips when discussing plays

5) Don’t roll eyes when the cheerleaders come on

6) Don’t call any players cute

7) Don’t refer to any player as the poor baby who got hurt

8 ) When leaving the room to get more chips, tuck a throw pillow under arm and run into the kitchen yelling “I’m going for a first down!”

Yes, it’s going to be pretty manly over at my place tonight.  I just hope I can keep up, especially since my testosterone levels are dropping as I creep towards menopause.   My old friend testosterone who used to be here to help convert my calories into muscle has packed his bag and left me with an expanding soft waistline.

I’m kind of hoping my kids are rooting for different teams tonight – which means I’ll have to sit between them on the couch.  Without a doubt, the competition should increase their levels of testosterone during the game.  Hopefully while they are screaming “GO TEAM GO” at the TV, some of that testosterone will escape via their lungs and become airborne*.  All I need is to take in some deep breaths and maybe, just maybe, I’ll wake up with a little less mid section blubber in the morning.

Go Team Go!

*I am aware that I wont really be breathing in svelteness tonight….but a girl can dream.

Just before the holidays, I posted an open letter to  MORE telling them that my Christmas wish was to write a recurring feature for their magazine.  On Christmas morning, I pushed past my kids and ran downstairs to the tree, eager to see what Santa brought. I was hoping to find a beautifully wrapped box with a big red bow holding an invitation from MORE asking me to write for them.  Well, that’s not exactly how it went….

In my home, where it is just me and my 2 tween boys, I am Santa Claus.  Or at least I was up until last year when my children found out the truth on the school bus and the jig was up.  I have to admit that I was a little relieved this Christmas when I didn’t have to go out and buy a whole bunch of gifts for myself from Santa Claus.  Ever since my boys were young, they would say things like, “Mommy, you are soooo good that Santa will bring you lots and lots of goodies.”   In an effort to keep up the ruse, I would buy myself gifts and hide them along with my children’s packages.  Surely if I didn’t get anything, the boys might begin to think that Mommy wasn’t so good after all and I really didn’t need them having something to hold over my head for the coming year.

This year, the boys weren’t ready for things to change and still wanted me to “play” Santa Claus.  I agreed but advised them that “Santa” was now just for the kids.  So, I ordered myself a book and nothing more.  No stocking stuffers, no array of gifts to me under the tree.  I was looking forward to less wrapping, less dragging all those gifts up from their secret hiding places in the basement and getting to bed earlier on Christmas eve.   Then I had a change of heart when sadly, on December 23^rd, I received notification that the book was on back order and would not arrive until January.  There would be nothing for me under the tree for the first time in 50 years.  This got me thinking about Christmas wishes which in turn prompted me to write the post to MORE letting them know my wish.

Here we are in January, Christmas is all but put away and I am still waiting for my book.  Having forgotten about my open letter, I was startled this morning when my email inbox had a message from Santa MORE with the subject line:  Your wish, fulfilled

Along with a friendly note inviting me to pitch a blog post for their More.com website, they sent me this….

The people at MORE have a great sense of humor and I’m glad that they decided to use this photo and not one from my subsequent post where I am wearing fake mustaches.  You can bet that I will write and submit a piece for their Blogger of the Moment spot – with hopes that someday you’ll be able to come and read me over there.

Thank you MORE!

Photo credit: k*sco studios

Mock up MORE cover design:  MORE Magazine

Back when I was 48 and immature, I used to write a different blog called Wink at Me until one day a stalker scared the beelzebub out of me and I shut it down.  Finding it hard to stay away from blogging, I created Jotter Girl and while I’m pretty happy over here, sometimes I miss my silly antics from Wink.  This morning a friend noted that my Monday feature was “one of the best blog segments ever“.   This is for you Mike….for old time’s sake.

In June of 2010, a trip to the shore got me this souvenir…..

Which then gave me 7 Mondays in which to be silly and creative.

Mustache Monday

Those 7 mustaches brought me a lot of fun.  Although these photos had my kids rolling their eyes for 7 weeks, they now admit that it was actually pretty fun.