Open letter to Ann Taylor


Dear Ann Taylor,

Thank you for thinking of me and sending me the almost life sized catalog featuring 48 year old Demi Moore.  It really came in handy this weekend when I changed the trucks and wheels on my son’s skateboard.   You see, I didn’t have any newspaper to put down and your mailing fit the bill perfectly.  I was able to dismantle the whole skate board without getting a speck of rust or dirt on my kitchen table.

As I looked down at my boy’s beat up skate board laying over Demi’s overly airbrushed image, I had the following thought.  In the skateboarding world, if your deck is perfectly painted, it means that you have never attempted much of anything and you just own a pretty skateboard.  When you see a deck like my son’s, you know he has spend hours mastering ollies,  heel flips and pop shove-its.  He’s challenged himself, fallen and often times succeeded.  In other words, he has lived and his board tells his story.

When I look at Demi’s face, I don’t see any trace of a life lived.

As a consumer, truth in advertising is very important to me and while you may be truthfully representing your clothing, perhaps you should do a little less air brushing on your models.  I wouldn’t expect to see Ms. Moore looking like my son’s skateboard, but it would be nice to see something a little closer to reality and less plastic.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like Demi Moore as your spokes person,  I’m just a little surprised she wasn’t representing the store, Forever 21.

 

 

 

P.S.   If you’ve heard things about me from Abercrombie and Fitch, just ignore them.




60 Second Story…..Bald Mary & the 5th graders


Dear 5th grade students,

It was an absolute pleasure spending time with you this week discussing what it is like to be a writer.  Your enthusiasm and creativity blew me away.  As I mentioned, I have a running feature here at Jotter Girl called 30 Second Stories where I take an old photograph that I find at the Acayucan black flea market and write a humorous story that can be read in about 30 seconds.  It was so much fun to have all of  you take turns coming up with the next line in the story for my latest photo.  In your case, my 30 Second Story, turned into a http://toastmeetsjam.com/bios/hilary-sloan/ 60 Second Story . To the best of my recollection here is the story we put together.

 Mary stood on the boat, holding tight to her purse.  There was a bread stick that had come alive in the dining hall and was coming after her.   She was a bit frightened and she jumped off the ship….wait, no she didn’t.  It was all very creepy when the  Zombies came after her but thankfully she was wearing her heat resistant coat.  There was also a grave yard on the top of the boat where ghosts were hanging out.  Then someone yelled out “Dance Party!” and they all went to dance.  A meatball fits into the story somewhere, but Mary cannot remember because there were too many 5th children circling her and shouting out ideas.  She was lucky enough to have a video recorder tucked inside her hat so she could look at the movie later when she was safe in her cabin.  Actually, she couldn’t wait to take off her hat because her bald head was very itchy.  What the children didn’t realize was that Mary had her writers notebook underneath her arm and she would write this whole big episode into a science fiction, horror, fantasy, action story for her next cook book titled,

Meatballs and Bread sticks.

__________________

I was quite surprised after school today when one of you young writers appeared at my door with an envelope full of thank you notes, each one neatly written.

I am so glad that you all enjoyed our meeting and I truly hope I have helped inspire you to write.  Don’t forget, be free with your ideas and use your writer’s eye to tell a more interesting tale.  I am certain that your heads are filled with many stories just waiting to jump out onto paper.  Happy writing!




Open letter to Barnes and Noble


Dear B&N,

I must confess that as far as bookstores go, I’ve realized, I’m a fair weather friend.  The Borders across town was my favorite place to shop up until about a month ago.  Honestly, prior to that, I tried to like B&N but always seemed to leave your store annoyed for one reason or another.

Yes, you were the prettier store and had more to offer, but Borders seemed more genuine, easier.    When they closed their doors, it was like my best friend was moving away.  And there I was…. left with you, the other friend, that I didn’t really like that much.

I stayed away for as long as I could but this morning I needed a bookstore fix, so I ventured over to your place.

As of today, Barnes and Noble is my new best friend favorite book store.  You’ve changed and I love what you’ve done with the place.

Adding a larger game/toy section is genius.  When I am there with my boys and they are tired of looking at the books, they now have a second stop at the games before hunting me down and begging me to leave.

Removing all those comfy seating areas where inconsiderate people would sit for hours reading your books and magazines without purchasing them.  That drove me insane….I wasn’t there to buy used reading material and hated seeing all those books and magazines left on the floor.

Now, the only thing left for you to do to cement our friendship, is to tell the lady at register 5 to be a little less snooty when it comes to asking me if I am “a member“.   She need not look down on me just because I am not ready to plunk down $25.oo a year to be in your club.  My old friend Borders got me for $20 and then a couple months later…well, you know.