My friend Rabbit did a post today titled, Another Year,  where he answered the final questions that James Lipton asks his guests on Inside the Actor’s Studio.

This list has become a once a year ritual for Rabbit and it’s interesting to see what changes from year to year.  As Rabbit said, “I encourage you to steal them and answer them for yourself – even if you don’t post them, tuck them away and revisit yourself next year. The trick is to not read your previous answers before answering the new ones.”

This is my first year doing the list and here are my answers. I would love to read yours. If you do them, please do leave a link to your own post in the comments.

Acayucan 1. What is your favorite word?  

I would normally choose the word, dream, but today I’m going with pulchritude.  I learned this word last evening from my 5th grader during homework time.  I couldn’t believe such an ugly sounding word could mean beauty, so I looked it up for myself and found it was true.  Kind of reminded me that even the ugliest things in life can have beauty, if you look hard enough.

http://toastmeetsjam.com/bios/hilary-sloan/ 2. What is your least favorite word?

Pulchritude.  (I hate being showed up by a 5th grader)

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Variety.

4. What turns you off?

People who do not acknowledge kindness.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

*Fuck.  I believe this to be the universal favorite.  Definitely my go to word from the curse list.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Early in the morning when all is quiet and I hear the sound of my boys stirring in their beds all safe, warm and cozy.

7. What noise do you hate?

The sound of gossip.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I would like to be a pulchritudinous 5th grade teacher.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

I could never be a Doctor.  I would totally have all my patients symptoms and be on the verge of death daily.

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10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Oops Catherine, it’s not your time yet….you’ll have to go back.  I’m not supposed to do this, but there are several dogs and an old man here that would love to see you while you are passing through.”

*Note to my mother, I do not say this word unless absolutely necessary.

Dear 5th grade students,

It was an absolute pleasure spending time with you this week discussing what it is like to be a writer.  Your enthusiasm and creativity blew me away.  As I mentioned, I have a running feature here at Jotter Girl called 30 Second Stories where I take an old photograph that I find at the black flea market and write a humorous story that can be read in about 30 seconds.  It was so much fun to have all of  you take turns coming up with the next line in the story for my latest photo.  In your case, my 30 Second Story, turned into a 60 Second Story. To the best of my recollection here is the story we put together.

 Mary stood on the boat, holding tight to her purse.  There was a bread stick that had come alive in the dining hall and was coming after her.   She was a bit frightened and she jumped off the ship….wait, no she didn’t.  It was all very creepy when the  Zombies came after her but thankfully she was wearing her heat resistant coat.  There was also a grave yard on the top of the boat where ghosts were hanging out.  Then someone yelled out “Dance Party!” and they all went to dance.  A meatball fits into the story somewhere, but Mary cannot remember because there were too many 5th children circling her and shouting out ideas.  She was lucky enough to have a video recorder tucked inside her hat so she could look at the movie later when she was safe in her cabin.  Actually, she couldn’t wait to take off her hat because her bald head was very itchy.  What the children didn’t realize was that Mary had her writers notebook underneath her arm and she would write this whole big episode into a science fiction, horror, fantasy, action story for her next cook book titled,

Meatballs and Bread sticks.

__________________

I was quite surprised after school today when one of you young writers appeared at my door with an envelope full of thank you notes, each one neatly written.

I am so glad that you all enjoyed our meeting and I truly hope I have helped inspire you to write.  Don’t forget, be free with your ideas and use your writer’s eye to tell a more interesting tale.  I am certain that your heads are filled with many stories just waiting to jump out onto paper.  Happy writing!

Apparently someone switched my cereal for crank berries this morning.  I know this to be true because one of my boys told me I should try meditation.  Perhaps he is right.

So while I am irritated…..I think it would be a good time to vent over something stupid.

Ready, go.

 Here is my imaginary scenario. 

New York City:  A room full of advertising people brainstorming about a new television commercial for Pamprin, the PMS, menstrual fix it pill.

Los Angeles:  A room full of advertising people brainstorming about a new television commercial for Vagisil, the feminine itching cream.

In each meeting, the creative geniuses are hard at work trying to think of how to portray either a woman who is itchy or one that is bat shit crazy with PMS.  At exactly 4:00 pm in NY and 1:00 pm in LA, we hear “EURIKA! Let’s have her wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up.”  There is a collective sigh of relief on both coasts that the problem has been solved.

 Back to reality.

Last night I was watching television and being bombarded with sad looking women wearing hoodies.

On one channel, the girl had the itchies and on the other channel the girl was in need of some Pamprin.  I was there wondering why they both had their hoods up which is when my imaginary scenario came to mind.  I’ll bet it’s pretty close to what actually happened.

FYI, from now on, I am going to think twice before wearing my hoodie.  I wouldn’t want people to think…..well, you know.

Today, I think I might just send a quick note to the makers of Preparation H and let them know that they are missing the boat with their advertising.  Hoodies will make their commercials so much more believable.

Don’t you think?

Dear Abercrombie & Fitch,

I for one, am very aware that you do not want me in your store.

Your clever idea to repel adults by sending the almost visible cloud of cologne through your doorway works like a charm.  I get an immediate headache when passing by and would never consider coming in unless armed with a gas mask.

Having been one of those kids in the 80′s, that cranked my Sony Walkman up a little too loud, I now find my hearing is a bit off.  But, the sound coming from your establishment is enough to make me flash back to 1981 and check my handbag to look for the volume knob on my Walkman.  I’m guessing you keep the volume so high so when I ask one of those delightful workers you employ for assistance, they have an excuse as to why they are ignoring me.

And last but not least, you seem to keep your place a little on the dark side in order to give off a club type vibe.  Surely you realize that people my age can’t see as well but, you might want to reconsider this because back in the day, I was known to dance on top of the speakers at many a night club.  You do not want me doing this in Abercrombie & Fitch, trust me.

So, Abercrombie and Fitch, while you repel me…….you attract this…..

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from that wonderfully classy show, The Jersey Shore

 I saw in the paper today that you have offered to pay Mr. Sorrentino  to NOT wear your clothing.  I am somewhat surprised since he looks like he wears a ton of cologne, is definitely noisy, and spends much of his time in night clubs.  Not to mention that many of your ads look very similar to his photo.

When I first read the news, I thought “Good for you A & F!”  But shortly,  what I realized is, that you are acting like those doormen outside the club picking and choosing who you want to come in.  So I’m still stuck out on the sidewalk but now I have “The Situation” with me…… thank you very much.

I dread the day that my pre-teen boys ask me to take them shopping over at your place….but I know it is coming.  I suggest you start preparing now because,  I will be the mom with the gas mask, the miners light attached to my head and the only one dancing on the counter next to register #3.

See you then!

Back in 2006, I began a painting and named it Ivy.

And then I stopped.

Life got in the way and my racing greyhound sat waiting for another day….month….year.

Fast forward to July 2011.  Ivy was still waiting for her chance to shine and I continued to put her off as I had for the last 5 years.    She dutifully held her position leaning against the wall in the corner of my art studio while I worked, wrote, knit and drew other things.  It was my friend “Rabbit” who inspired my reunion with Ivy.

Rabbit is a creative soul.  He writes, doodles, cleverly sasses, paints and draws every day.  Every day.

I find this especially inspiring because my dear Rabbit is sick.  While none of us know how long we have on this earth, Rabbit knows his time is shorter and less secure.  HIV/Aids clouds his world yet he chooses to spend his time creating beautiful art of all types, writing sassy-mouthed comments using his wicked sense of humor and neatly tying it all together on his website.

I have been deeply touched by this man with whom, at first glance, I have very little in common with.  We come from very different places but have connected non the less.  His story and example inspired me to ask myself, “What am I waiting for?” .  So a few weeks ago, pulled Ivy out of the corner and reconnected.

I painted almost daily until she was done.

Thank you Rabbit for giving me back to Ivy.

P.S. Rabbit and I are working on an interview which will become a future post.