The evidence points to…..

I live in a house.

I live with two 10 year old boys.

They are either the laziest slobs on the planet or two highly intelligent, creative geniuses.

Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?

ME: Why can’t you remember to flush the toilet?

BOY 1: Because I’ll need to flush it again later, so I’m just saving it up….you know, to save water.  Oh and then there’s also that noise pollution issue.  No flush no noise.

ME: Why is there a damp bath towel on your unmade bed every morning?

BOY 2: This way you will know that I’m clean.  If I hung it up in the bathroom, you might think it was from your other child and that I am going to school dirty.  My bed is unmade because I was so comfortable right before I got out that I wanted it to stay that way for when I get back in tonight.

ME: Why are there wrappers hidden between the couch cushions?

BOY 1: Because, if I put the wrappers on the coffee table, you would ask me to throw them away.  Keeping them between the cushion let’s me enjoy my show without interruption.

ME: Why are there dirty socks everywhere?

BOY 2: As you know, we have a “no shoes on the couch” rule.  When I’m on the couch without my shoes, I notice my feet smell.  I take off my socks and throw them as far away from my nose as possible.  Mom, perhaps you might want to reconsider letting shoes on the couch.

ME: Why can’t you remember to wipe your mouth?

BOY 1: Because I‘m not a vanity case like you mommy.  You’re always worried about what you look like….wiping your mouth every two seconds.  I am just planning to do one final wipe at the end of the meal.  Saves energy and napkins.

Last week, one of my boys was in the kitchen making himself a smoothie.  Having to bend down to the lowest drawer to retrieve a straw, I heard him call out “Where are the straws?  Ugh, this is such a pain.”  I then heard the silverware draw open and all sorts of racket.  I thought for a moment that my darling angel was emptying the dishwasher without being asked.  This is what I found instead.

Lazy or genius?

Either way, I love them.  While the above mentioned things drive me crazy, I realize that they don’t mean much in the big picture.  My boys almost always say please, thank you and hold the door for me.  They greet me with a smile and a hug in the morning.  I get kisses and I love you’s before bed.  Plus, every time I open the silverware drawer, I  giggle.

30 Second Story…..bathing beauties

Jean couldn’t wait to wear her new swimsuit to the beach. She had shopped for weeks looking for something glamorous that would get Ted to finally notice her.

When the very handsome Ted Palmer asked to take her photo, she presented her most alluring pose.  Within seconds, she became less than thrilled because her brother Stuart jumped into the picture.  When Ted called out, “That’s some swanky suit Stuart!”, Jean’s heart sank knowing that her goofy brother had stolen her chance .

The photos used in 30 second stories are found images from flea markets and do not represent anyone I know.

The Jotter Pages….The blob takes over London

The Jotter Pages is a glimpse into one of my many notebooks.  The italics are the actual writings from my jotter and the roman type are my comments today.  This entry takes place in London, England 1984 while traveling with my friend Anne.

Monday, September 3, 1984

Got up late and went to Trafalgar Square & The National Gallery museum (which smelled terrible).  In the evening, we stopped off at a pub called The White Lion where me met two English businessmen.

We had a fun evening with Richard and Nick drinking pints and telling stories.  That is, until the lights in the pub went off and we were in complete darkness for about 20 seconds or so.  The lights popped back on and Anne immediately realized that her big blob of a handbag was gone.  We had been sitting at a small pub table to the right of the door and Anne’s bag was on the floor near her feet.

I must interject here to let you know that Anne was the type of girl who carried EVERYTHING in her bag. Why she would need to cart the stuff she did all the way to the UK is beyond me.  This “blob” as I called it, probably weighed 10 lbs and must have looked ripe for the picking by the would be thief.

Anne went crazy.  Crying and screaming, she made her way over to the front of the pub and proceeded to punch a hole right through the glass door.  She had me so scared with all of her kicking and screaming.  Showing no sign of calming down,  I slapped her across the face.  She was a girl possessed and making such a scene, I really had no choice.  After the pub, we went to the Bond Street Police station where they took a description of the contents.  Of course as usual, she had everything but the kitchen sink in the blob and Anne used more than enough paper filling out the forms and making notes on what was missing.  Passport, wallet, make up, camera, key chain with all her house keys and car key, maps, gum, glasses and probably 25 other items that were near and dear to Anne.  Meanwhile, she was still going insane the whole time we were at the station.  Shocking that Nick and Richard remained with us and didn’t try to ditch the two American lunatics back at the pub.  When we were done at the station, they helped us get back to our hotel.

The next day, we were alerted by the police that the blob handbag had been found!  All the bazillion items were recovered with the exception of the money.  She was incredibly lucky to get her travel documents back.  Anne and I traveled together for 10 days; visiting London and Paris and I had many adventures.

30 Second Story…..Fatten up Fred

Back on the set for season 2, the stand- ins for Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel posed for their preseason photo.  Much to the director’s dismay, “Fred” had gone on a diet during the hiatus.  Oh, Fred.

The photographs used in 30 Second Stories are images that I have collected from flea markets and do not represent anyone that I am related to.  Well, maybe Fred ;)


Call Me Greta

I have friends who are quite social and often invite me here and there.  Mostly, I choose to keep to myself.  I truly enjoy being alone and savor the peace and quiet in my house when my boys are off with their dad.  I have one friend who calls me Greta, as in Garbo, as in “I want to be left alone.”

This solo behavior is nothing new as I have been this way all of my life.  Over the years, I’ve been called different, aloof, quiet and snobby.  I truly don’t identify with any of these labels and the fact that people don’t really understand me is just something I’ve gotten used to.

I recently came across a book called The Introvert Advantage, written by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., which has made me realize that I am a part of a group which is often misunderstood.  Reading page after page, I saw myself in the words and descriptions defining an introverted person.  Yes, this was me, without a doubt.  I even took the quiz which categorized me as “Pretty darn introverted”.   It was a light bulb moment for me and I devoured the book justifying many of my seemingly odd behaviors.  I was off the proverbial hook of being just another weirdo.   Many excuses have been made for me over the years by others to explain “me” such as:

she’s an artist

she’s the middle child

she’s a writer

she’s been through some stuff

While some of the above may bear weight, I am now convinced that I am plainly just an introvert.  An artist, writer, middle child introvert who has been through some stuff.

The nice thing about this book is that it celebrates the uniqueness and strengths of being an introvert.  It has given me the sense that I am a normal minority and that in fact having an introverted temperament is something you are born with and isn’t a social defect as many think.

While reading the book, I was happy to be able to identify that I am not the only one who seeks refuge in the bathroom at a party and look forward to going home shortly after arrival.  I now have a better understanding why I like the company of one or two and tend to recoil in large groups even in family situations.  This book has provided some explanation as to why I struggled in school academically.  If you are an introvert, you should read this book.  If you know an introvert, you should read this book to get a better understanding of how we learn, form relationships, communicate etc.

I have to admit that it’s kind of nice knowing that I am not the only one.  In fact, I may just put out a flyer for a support group.

Calling all new potential club members – limit 3 people

Meetings will be held weekly and we will set up a rotation system for hiding in going to the bathroom.

A timer will be set and the meeting will end within ½ hour and you’ll be on your way home.  If we find that our energy is draining, we can cut the meeting to 15 minutes.

This week’s topics will include:

“White Lies”,  ideas for how to leave a party early.

How to avoid chit chat while still being polite.

How texting has changed our lives.

Since we both hate to talk on the phone, please R.S.V.P via text message or email.